Sister Claire

Ever since that 8-Bit Alejandro song was posted, I’ve been thinking about how AWESOME it would be if Lady Gaga had her own videogame, or at least made a cameo in one. Just think of all the videogame powers she could have:

• Monster Claw- Her basic short range attack.
• Disco Stick – short range melee capability, long range light-based attacks
• "Sparkle Bra" - Medium to long range fire-shooting tits. Clearly would be the fan-favorite move, right after:
• Gun Bra! - Like "Sparkle Bra", only more powerful. Requires a more difficult combo to use.
• Video Shades – Perhaps giving her the ability to momentarily hypnotize her opponent.
• Poison – Maybe she’d offer the opponent a sandwich, only to cheekliy flash the poison bottle after they’ve taken a bite out of it
• Poker face – She throws a pack of cards like shuriken.
•  Paparazzi - Cameramen appear out of nowhere, and snap blinding photos of the opponent, causing minor damage and momentarily stunning them



• Bailout – Gaga pulls a Telephone out of her hair, dials. A moment later, Honey B drives through and runs over the opponent with the Pussywagon, Gaga high-fives her as she drives by.
• Monster Call – An extremely powerful and difficult "Desperation" move. A giant anglerfish chews and eventually spits out the opponent.
• Twitterbomb – Gaga takes out her iPhone and tweets "Help, Monsters!" and a million tweet messages rain on the opponent.

And of course, her winning slogan? "I’m a free bitch, baby."

It would be pretty funny if she had a random scream attack too, like in that Youtube video we’ve all seen of her performing "Pokerface" live where she suddenly goes "AAAAAAHH~~!."

A move based on the hermaphrodite rumor would be pretty funny/awesome too, but I couldn’t think of anything witty.There are so many possibilities.  What other abilities would she have?